Dear Nose,

We've been together a long time. You may have a tendency to itch at the most embarrassing moments, and you may be unable to decide whether you want to be straight or snubbed, but generally speaking, you've done your job and I have no complaints.

Right now, however, you and my sinuses are ganging up on me to make my life hell. I am a snotty mess and my bin is overflowing with tissues. My head is pounding and my cheekbones feel like they're going to explode. Just remember, if they do, they're taking you with them.

I would quite like to be able to breathe again and maybe actually taste what I'm eating. I'd appreciate it if you'd cooperate.

Best wishes,

Your body.